Dried Out

I have a question.  So I was at Target this afternoon buying an overly-expensive yet completely-worth-it Sonicare toothbrush because my old one just pooped out last night. (Ack...Can't be mad, though, because I've only had it for 11 years.)  Anyhoo, I'm wandering at Target, as I am predisposed to do (because I haven't spent my requisite $100 yet and I'm afraid the universe will open and swallow me whole if I tempt those fates) and I wend my way into the deodorant aisle.  Now for my question:

Since when is it necessary that we use "clinical strength" anti-perspirant? And why does it have to come in 700 scents including "Mango Dream?"  Seriously, are we really so disgustingly sweaty that the masses should have to have smell control that's reserved for those who normally would have to go to the "clinic" to get their hands on it? And did this just start happening?  Because I'm pretty sure that in all of my anti-perspirant wearing days I've never really seen this phenomenon appear at Target before. 

Of course, I understand that there are those who have serious sweating problems and that these aren't new formulas or anything.  I also know that, despite all of my problems, this isn't one of them; I'm actually allergic to the aluminum in the stuff anyway so I gotta go the Tom's Natural direction.  But c'mon.  I can't believe that there are enough people who legitimately have this problem diagnosed to warrant an entire wall of the stuff at Target.  I also question why something clincal also has to have sparkly silver writing on it.  Do our pharmacists hang a disco ball and wear leisure suits? No.  They look like medical professionals.  They are clinical.  Because they deal with serious drugs.  Shouldn't we expect the same from boxes containing clinical strength anything?

I don't even want to think about what makes it clinical...more heavy metals that we're smearing on ourselves just so Stacy and Clinton won't pop up from around the nearest rack of clothes and besmirch our unsightly sweat.  Geez.  It's hot out there.  We sweat.  Shouldn't we be asking more questions about what we're putting on to absolutely stop that process for hours at a time? 

Of course, I basically put bleach directly on my teeth, creating a nauseating pain that lasts for days just so I can have a whiter smile.  I suppose we all pick our poisons, don't we.  But seriously....clinical strength Secret...it's like an oxymoron...