Restless Volume 12370987

I'm so predictable sometimes.  There are times that I do things that totally surprise me.  Today's not one of them.  It's Sunday which means 1) I'm totally restless, 2) I'm resistant to the new week, 3) I can't focus on anything, and 4) I also can't fall asleep.  Thank god I just found Lost on late night network tv, so that should help.  But I'm still trying to get to the heart of my restlessness.  Why does this happen?

I just read the last blog I did and I think it's related to this feeling right now.  I had a super week.  It was REALLY good, perhaps just because we're getting to a point in the year that I've been looking forward to for awhile.  And, to my surprise, my support system has just gone nutso in the best way possible this week.  They may know that and maybe not but I keep getting this horoscope that I'm loved and respected and I think it's not kidding.  That's exactly how I've felt all week long.  Every day was better than the next.  And then today happened and it was good.  Not awesome.  Not spectacular.  Just good. And (here's the crazy part), it seemed like a letdown.

So, maybe I'm not restless.  I'm just selfish.  I get too attached to the great things going on and when I have a "normal" Sunday, it seems sucky.  And, I'll be honest, some great things happened today too.  I think they just weren't what I wanted to happen.  And what would that be?  I don't know.   There it is.  That's the problem.  I just don't know what I want.  OR I know what I want and that I just can't have it. Or won't.

I generally never say this, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  I'm pretty sure it'll have some answers.