This One's For Kaye

Wow, it's been a long time.  I only realized this when Kaye, friend and Alto II extraordinaire, mentioned that her RSS feed hadn't lit up with my stunning and evocative discussions of real-life issues (see specifically any posts tagged "free floating crazy"...which I have to admit is my most favorite tag I've ever come up with...) This month has been a rough one and so my witty observations have taken a back seat to what I thought was more intense introspection which then, as it does, turned into brooding.  Eh...can't win 'em all.  But, I did have some deep down, essential conversations with myself on a couple key issues of existence and I'd like to share with you what I've learned.  In no particular order:

1. I love Kelly Clarkson.  Go ahead and judge. I cannot explain it.  I hate American Idol.  I hate other American Idols (excluding Carrie Underwood who I just mildly disdain).  But when this girl sings, so do I.  I have been belting out "I Do Not Hook Up" for DAYS and I intend to continue that trend.  I have really always loved her.  I'm just more comfortable saying it now.

2. Alternative titles for #1 could be "I Love Lady Gaga," "I Love Gwen Stefani," "I Love Pink," or "I Love Christina Aguilera." These I'm actually not ready to be judged for so they didn't get the nod, but it's true.  I can listen to "Hollaback Girl" 27 times in a row and never tire of it. I've talked about this before but I'm still working through it.

3. #s 1 and 2 are directly related to this: I can't believe I've lived without an Ipod for this long. Admittedly, I've been something of a Luddite when it's come to music.  I've always listened to the radio and when my last walkman broke I just never replaced it.  But this Ipod business has changed my life.  Not only can I have 4789372 songs with me at all times...but I can arrange them however I want.  And then rearrange them.  This is revolutionary to me.  However, with that power comes the need to choose.  When I was listening to the radio, I could blame them for Kelly Clarkson.  My Ipod, in all of its green wonder, has forced me to come to grips with my schizophrenic music tastes.  All on the same playlist I have Grayston Ives (contemporary choral), The Mamas and the Papas, Moby, and Beyonce.  I feel dirty about this.  But also soooo good. Mmmmm.

4. Bea Arthur is one of my heroes. I never wanted to admit it.  But it's true.  I've just rediscovered "The Golden Girls" because WE tv, god bless their hearts, are running these enormous GG marathons everyday.  She was the heart of the show and it was funny. And it still is.  Then, I caught Maude on ME tv and she was the heart of that show.  And it was funny. And it still is. I feel this same way about Elaine Stritch who's surfaced as Jack's mom on 30 Rock.  These baudy, bold, brassy broads--that's who I wanna be.

5. I do not hate Sociology. The lack of blogging can be directly attributed to the fact that I've begun to write in the first time in over a year.  It's always a relief to be revived by the ideas. What's even more rewarding is having taken this year to regroup, I can synthesize my experience and these ideas much more insightfully.  Wait, hear that? Oh, it's just me breathing again...I forgot how lovely fresh air can be.

6. I operate on a see-saw that swings between fear and fearlessness. Never before in my life have I been so aware of this dichotomy.  I'm either paralyzed by fear or shocking the hell out of myself in being bold. I've tried to change this for a long time.  That's a stupid struggle.  I will not change.  But what I can do is learn how to manage that transition better. I'd love to explore the world of moderation. That's my next big challenge.

7. If you allow them the chance, worthy people will surprise you in great ways. I'm always amazed by this. But I've become very aware of the importance of the first clause.  So much of our lives are about perception.  I'm now convinced more than ever that if we want change we have to allow for it.  The stage must be set.  Once that's done, amazing things can and often do happen.

8. Fuck Napanee. This one's for Kaye too.  But that trip deep into the wilds of Amishland in Indiana was a breath of fresh air.  Much like the Garage Mahal that I fully intend on swinging by next year.

I'd love to round this up to 10 but this is what I got for now.  Life's too short and I haven't laughed enough yet.  I'll get back to ya on the other two before too long, I'm sure.

Thanks Kaye for re-lighting this blog's spark just a little ;)